Freedom from Peeta
by nightglimmer14
Summary: What if Katniss won the Hunger Games alone? How will the death of the boy with the bread effect her? Especially since she was the one to kill him. Read and find out.
1. Chapter 1

I stare at the berries in my hand. Nightlock. They will kill me in an instant. I don't want to die but then I look at the boy in front of me. The boy with the bread. Peeta Mellark. My ally. My said lover. But no, that's not true. All of this lover business is a lie. It's fake. Yet here I stand preparing my suicide just so I don't have to kill him. But really what is the point? I'll die, he'll die and everything will have been for nothing.

"Are you ready?" He asks. No, how can I ever be ready to die? I say in my head, but I just nod.

"Okay, on three." He says. Am I really going to do this? I'm only sixteen and I've barely lived.

"Three" But I'm not ready. I don't want to die.

"Two." If die who will take care of Prim? Prim. How can I have been so stupid? If I die no one will be there for her. I promised her. I promised her I'd try to win, and killing myself is certainly not trying. I can't do it. I can't die. Prim needs me.

"One." I watch as Peeta shoves the berries into his mouth.

I watch as he watches me drop my berries to the ground. His eyes widen in confusion and shock at my actions. And his eyes show hurt he feels inside. Those eyes make me want to grab those berries off the ground and shove them in my mouth. But I don't. Instead I stand and wait for Peeta Mellark to die, without me.

I turn around, not wanting to watch. A minute passes. Shouldn't it be over by now? Nightlock kills you in seconds. But how come I don't hear the canon go off. I think I'm going crazy. The canon should have gone by now, maybe I missed it.

A hand grabs my shoulder. I scream and stare into the eyes of Peeta. A very alive Peeta.

"Katniss… The berries they're not poisonous"

At this point I think I've reached my breaking point. He should be dead! Why can't he be dead?

"Katniss? Are you okay?" You should be dead! I scream in my mind. Of course I'm not okay. Out of he corner of my eye I spot my knife laying on the floor about a meter to my left. I've lost my sanity. Its gone, I want to kill this boy standing in front of me. Why? Because I want to live. I want to see my sister. But doesn't he deserve the same? No I made up my mind. I must go home.

In one swift movement I grab the knife, kick Peeta to the floor and pin him down while holding the knife over his heart.

"Katniss? I thought you loved me?"

"I love no one." I snarl. "I only care for Prim. She needs me. But you? The star crossed lovers is a lie." I then turn to the sky and scream, "You hear that? The star crossed lover is fucking lie!" And then I turn to the boy with the bread and stab him right in the heart.

I watch the blood flow from his body. I did this, I think to myself. I killed him. Although we weren't lovers we were still friends and e didn't deserve to die.. He deserved to live. Why? Why didn't I just let him kill me?

The canon sounds and all around me things go crazy. Claudius's voice is announcing me as victor, Peeta's blood is seeping onto me, someone's screaming and over all that I can hear the noise of the hovercraft coming closer.

As I get into the hovercraft I can still hear the screaming. Only later will I realise that the screams belong to me.

* * *

"Just don't forget to smile, okay?" says Cinna.

I'm in the remake centre once again, preparing for my interview with Caesar Flickerman yet again; only this time I am not a tribute. I am a victor. Today I am dressed in a simple black dress that comes down too my knees. There are fire patterns on the sides of the dress and my hair as been done in its usual braid, so that people can recognise me as who I was in the arena. It has been over a week since they pulled me out from it. And about a week ago I should have had my interview. However this wasn't possible because I had become incapable of talking without screaming and bursting into tears. Everything reminded me of Peeta, and everything reminded me of how I killed him. After some serious medication and therapy I was finally back to myself, almost. The relapses became less frequent and I was able to control my words once again. But nothing could stop the nightmares. The figures of those who were once my fellow tributes. Every night I see blood on my hands, the spear in Rue's body and the mutts coming back to kill me.

I turn to Cinna wearing my fake smile.

"Of course. I mean I love the Capitol just so much, why wouldn't I smile?" I say in the most sarcastic way possible. Cinna just frowns at me.

"There will be none of that. Now that you're a victor I want you to become approachable and charming."

"But I'm not. I'm as charming as a dead slug remember?"

"Katniss. You pretended to be in love with Peeta. I'm sure you can manage to hold up you stage personality." Ouch. He played the Peeta card. But as always, he's right.

"You're right, I can." I say. This time wearing my real smile.

"I know I am." He says with a smile. "Now go, we don't want you late for you interview."

"It's a bit late for that." I turn to face the new voice. Oh of course it's Haymitch coming to collect me, sarcastic as usual. I wave Cinna goodbye and follow Haymitch out the door.

* * *

"Give a warm welcome to the 74th Hunger Games winner Katniss Everdeen!" Booms the one and only Caesar Flickerman to the Capitol audience. I am greeted with loud cheers and whooping as I graciously walk up to the stage with my fake smile plastered onto my face.

I give a quick hug to Caesar and wink at the crowd making their cheers even louder, before sitting down into my chair.

"So tell us Katniss. What's it like being this years victor?"

"Well it's an amazing feeling to be back in the Capitol and I'm just so honoured to be here really. I've won great pride for my district." Lies. I could care less about the Capitol, in fact I hate it. All I really want is for the camera's to go away and to be left alone. But I can't say that because I have to keep up my stage personality. So I just deliver my sentence with a smile.

"Well its great to know you feel this way Katniss. Now, what's on everyone's mind is when you killed your district partner, Peeta Mellark. Can you give us some details on what was going through your mind. After all the whole of Panem was under the impression that you were in love with this boy."

"Well you see Caesar, I was never in love with Peeta. It was our strategy that we used in the games, the love wasn't real at all." True, I wasn't in love with him. But he was my friend.

"Well I'll tell you what, you put up quite a show. Me and everyone else were totally convinced. You must be a pretty good actor." Why yes, yes I am. I mean after all I'm pretending to be excited about being here when really I'd rather be anywhere else.

"And this brings up another thing. I can't help but recall your first interview with me, you were a shy young thing were you not?"

"Yes, I believe I was."

"Yet today you seem perfectly charming and confident. What caused the change?" Um, well maybe it was the fact that in the first interview my life was depending on it, and in this interview I've already won, so yeah, maybe that's it. But I don't say that t him. Instead I reply with,

"Ahh. Well you see it all come back to that same word; strategy. It was part of my strategy in the games to appear weak towards the other tributes. But this failed when I received my score of eleven. So my strategy changed to drawing in as many sponsors as possible."

"I see. Now, Katniss." He says as he grabs my hand in comfort. It's not comforting at all. "What we want to know is did you feel any remorse when you stabbed Peeta?" Of course, I mean I had a mental break down after all. And Ceaesar knows I did.

"Let me let you in on a secret Caesar. To win the Hunger Games, if you want to survive you can't feel any remorse for the actions you've done. Otherwise the people stronger than you will win. I was able to win because I truly wanted to. And killing Peeta was just a the last stepping stone to my victory." Augh. It sounds horrible to put it like that. I _hate _my stage personality. According to Haymitch and Cinna I have to be violent and charming. That means saying cruel stuff, but saying it with a smile.

"My my, what the strategist you are. Well I think that's enough questions for now. Lets all enjoy the recap of the games." The audience cheers once again.

A screen appears from nowhere and instantly I'm reliving the Hunger Games. I watch my fellow tributes die. I watch me and Peeta's love story which finishes with me killing Peeta. By the end of it I just want to curl up into a little ball and cry. But I don't. Instead I smile at the audience and continue answering Caesars questions.

Its going to be okay. Tomorrow I'll be back home. With Gale.

* * *

**Might continue if it gets a good response. Hope you liked it :)**

**nightglimmer14**


	2. Chapter 2

_A screen appears from nowhere and instantly I'm reliving the Hunger Games. I watch my fellow tributes die. I watch me and Peeta's love story which finishes with me killing Peeta. By the end of it I just want to curl up into a little ball and cry. But I don't. Instead I smile at the audience and continue answering Caesars questions._

_Its going to be okay. Tomorrow I'll be back home. With Gale._

* * *

"Now Katniss, I want you to be prepared for everyone's reaction to seeing you again. Some may have strange reactions to seeing you, and I don't want you to get angered by it." says Haymitch.

"What do you mean? Do you know something I don't?" The guilt on his face gives me all I needed to know.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I can't tell you." He replied simply. Why not? He has no right to hide information from me. Out the corner of my eye I spot a butter knife on the nearby table and while thinking that I could use it to threaten him, not that I would actually hurt him or anything. As I reach for it Haymitch, sensing what I was going to do, grabs the knife off the table in one swift motion then walks out of the room with it shoved into his pocket.

"Just be prepared okay?" He calls over his shoulder.

"Oh and sweetheart. It's rude to threaten your mentor." And with that he goes into his room.

* * *

As the train nears District Twelve I press my face against the window of the train, trying to get a glimpse of my home and the woods I miss so much. When the train finally comes to a stop I squeal like a twelve year old and run out the train door.

Outside on the train platform I find a collection of people waiting for me. Most of them are Capitol photographers trying to get pictures of the latest victor, but there are a few familiar faces amongst the crowd. I quickly scan the group of people before me. I spot Greasy Sae and a few others from the Hob, but they're not who I want to see. I keep searching the crowd with my eyes until they meet the eyes of none other than my best friend. Gale Hawthorne.

As our eyes meet I run off the platform towards him and leap into his already open arms.

"Hey Catnip" he says as if nothing in the past few weeks ever happened.

"Hey Gale" I reply. In his arms I feel safe, like nothing ever did happened. I feel like I was never in the Hunger Games. But I have to let go and go see my family.

When I begin to pull away he just hugs me tighter.

"Don't go." He whispers.

I sigh and reply with. "I know. I don't want this to end either but I have to go see Prim." At the mention of Prim's name Gale's body goes rigid.

"Okay, but um, I don't know if you'll find her straight away…"

"What? Did something happen to Prim? Is she hurt? Oh my god I need to go find her!" I all but scream.

"Calm down Katniss. She's not hurt. She's just scared."

"Scared? Of who?" I regret the question as soon as it's out of my mouth. Why do I have the feeling I know who she's afraid of?

As always Gale gives it to me straight, telling me what I don't want to hear.

"She's afraid of you Katniss."

* * *

**I know its extremely short but I wanted to know if anyone would actually be interested reading this story or if its better as a oneshot? I promise if there's a third chapter it will be a proper chapter.**

**Please review and tell me what you think.**

**nightglimmer14**


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